Emergency brace position

I’ve flown quite a few times in recent months, and each time I have to listen to the pre-flight safety demonstration required by the aviation authorities. Air crew are trained to evacuate the entire aircraft in 60 – 90 seconds, which considering it takes up to 45 minutes to get every on is pretty fast… and watching the safety demo is meant to make sure that you don’t dawdle behind in the case of a major air disaster.

Those of you who have flown will be familiar with the safety instructions demos which vary little from airline to airline.

Just as you are getting yourself settled and the aircraft is on its way to the runway, either video screens will run the safety presentation or the air crew will demonstrate the safety procedures from the aisles.

The demos are not the most exciting and the aircrew often look bored and even embarrassed as they run through the safety procedures. First it’s locating your nearest exit, where they use strange hand gestures to indicate where it is, reminding you that it might be behind you. Then they tell you about the floor lighting where they, unsurprisingly, point to the floor.

This is followed by a demonstration of how to open, close and tighten the seat belt, identical to those used in cars when seat belts were first fitted in the 1970s. In addition you’re shown how to use the oxygen mask in case of cabin pressure loss, and find and put on the life jacket hidden under your seat, inflate it at the right time and know how to blow the emergency whistle. I’m always slightly concerned when they tell me about the tube to blow into if the life jacket doesn’t inflate properly.

It’s easy to make fun of the process, and for once I have avoided cheap jokes as statistics reveal that those people who actually listen to the safety demos and read the card in the seat-back are more likely to survive a crash. I’m not exactly sure how they know, as the dead people aren’t there to ask whether they bothered to watch the demonstration.

Anyway for those of you unfamiliar with a flight safety film, you can watch this video… you’ll need a computer with sound to fully appreciate the experience. While you watch it, try and block out your surroundings and imagine you’re jetting off somewhere nice instead of going to work!